When I got into an all girls grammar school, the first thing people told me was “be careful.” Look out for how nasty the girls will be.

I imagined an experience like Wild Child or Mean Girls, and prepared to face my very own Harriet Bentleys and Regina Georges.

I went in expecting the worst – and yet came out completely unscathed. I did not face any more cruelty than in your average school.

Those I went to school with are certainly on a path to success – yet most alumni I speak to say one thing: They have already lost contact with their closest friends.

An environment full of intelligent, hard-working, young women led us to grow jealousy.

As teen girls, we’re taught to strive for a beauty ideal, and left feeling deflated. We couldn’t all share first place. Coming to university is much a similar experience for many, drawing constant comparisons, feeling like an imposter, and simply attempting to navigate life. 

I recently rewatched the 2001 classic, Legally Blonde. The protagonist, Elle Woods, is a fashion major who achieved top marks. She is a confident, gorgeous, blonde. On paper, she was the very thing I feared entering school.

After getting into Harvard Law School, she meets Vivian, who immediately deems Elle as her rival. She takes effort in making her look foolish, she reduces her to a dumb blonde and laughs at her choice of pink attire.

However, Elle continues to be unapologetically herself, kind to those who doubt her, and generally friendly.

To jump to the film’s ending, we later uncover Vivian’s insecurity. Elle is kind to her whilst she is vulnerable, and upon graduation they become best friends. 

Most would not want to admit it, but Vivian is relatable in her resentment of Elle. As an objective audience member, Elle is loveable. However, if I was in school with her, I too would view her as an opponent.

I could grow to resent her “perfection.” 

Whether inherent through teenage experience, or taught to us via Hollywood beauty campaigns and academic pressure, women are in fact trained to be competitors.

Whilst this isn’t to say my school experience was all terrible, I wish I had much sooner learnt from this film. Vivian initially attempts to bring Elle down, embarrass her, and find her faults.

Jealousy too quickly forms hatred and cruelty: this is the warning I should have been given. 

We are taught to view jealousy as negative, but it can just as easily become a compliment. Elle also envies Vivian, but bringing up other women will get you a hell of a lot further than being mean. 

I am jealous of my friends all of the time, and that is why I love them. They are brilliant, they are smart, they achieve great things. If I really am made up of the five closest people to me, then I am so glad it’s them.