New friends, neighbours, people sharing your space and new germs.

But it’s bad news for the UEA microbiota, because although they’ve evaded the bouncers and pushed through the crowds, their insidious intentions have been revealed. So, allow me to turn up the club lights and expose the dark truths waiting behind this hypnotic facade of welcome events, cheap drinks, questionable decisions and tell you of creatures invisible to the naked eye, clinging to your housemates’ fingertips. Microbial critters that hide behind enemy lines, ensconced in your sinuses, ready for your seminar crush to enter sneezing range before they pounce.

 Of course, I’m referring to the dreaded “Freshers’ Flu”. Bacteria, viruses, you name it – germs that have been planning freshers for months. Germs from across the country just aching to go viral. Germs on your mobile as a sea of new friends type their numbers onto your now festering phone screen. Whilst I’m afraid, I cannot offer you a fool-proof solution to this sore situation, I can offer you comfort. I can offer you soup. 

FRESHERS’ FLU SOUP 

Serves 4–6 

30–40 minutes 

£0.70–£1.00 per serving 

Ingredients 

1 leek 

1 onion 

1 large potato 

1 large carrot 

450g roasted chicken thighs (optional) 

175g red lentils 

1.5L vegetable or chicken stock 

1 tbsp olive oil 

1 tbsp tomato paste 

1 tbsp garlic paste 

1 tbsp ginger paste 

1 tbsp mixed dried herbs 

A generous pinch of salt and pepper 

Method 

1. Heat a heavy-bottomed pot over medium-high heat and add the olive oil. Let it heat up before adding anything else. 

2. Chop the onion and leek into bite-sized pieces and sauté for around 5 minutes. 

3. Chop the carrot and potato into bite-sized pieces and add them to the pot along with the dried herbs, tomato paste and a generous pinch of pepper. Cook for another 5 minutes. 

4. Add the stock and red lentils. Bring to a simmer and cook for around 20 minutes. 

5. If using the cooked chicken, add it during the final 5 minutes, just long enough to heat through. 

6. Check the potato and lentils. If they’re soft, take the soup off the heat. 

7. Taste, adjust the seasoning, and serve yourself a bowl of medicinally unproven but emotionally reassuring soup. 

Notes from the kitchen 

– I designed this recipe with the flu-stricken fresher in mind: maximum nutrition and taste, minimum effort and time. I’ve tried to anticipate the shopping trip and clean up too, so that apart from your cupboard staples, the shopping list will simply consist of vegetables, as well as some pre-roasted chicken if you’re so inclined. Clean-up is a pot, wooden spoon, and a jug for measuring the stock. If you’re feeling particularly dreadful, don’t worry about measuring everything precisely. Three handfuls of lentils will do; this is freshers’ week, not Bake Off. 

– Keep the hob at a consistent medium-high heat while sautéing. Mine goes from 1–9, and I used 6 throughout. Season the vegetables with salt as you go. 

– The garlic and ginger bring plenty of flavour and have been used for centuries as home remedies for colds and flu. The vegetables add fibre and micronutrients, the stock and water help you get fluids in, and the salt contributes to your overall electrolyte intake. The lentils and chicken provide protein. Essentially, it’s hot, filling, cheap and requires minimal brainpower; in other words, the epitome of fresher cuisine. The nutritional value of this recipe is just a bonus. 

FOOD FORECAST: SEPTEMBER 

Vegetables: Aubergine, leek, courgette 

Herbs: Rosemary, parsley, mint 

Fruit: Plums, pears, blackberries 

Fish: Mackerel, plaice 

Meat: Duck 

Image credit: Unsplash