You’re in the smoking area of a Norwich bar of your choice. You’re not-yet deep in conversation with a tall, handsome stranger – well, they’re definitely tall (their facial features are a bit blurry by now). “So, what do you study?” you ask, wavering a bit and sloshing your cocktail. Insert degree here, they reply. It’s Geography, or Computer Science, or something you realise you have absolutely nothing to offer on the subject. “What about you?” they ask. You reply that you study film – and the question that always comes up comes up: “What’s your favourite film?” Well, that depends who’s asking.

Option 1: The Stoner

Is he smoking rollies? Are his clothes just bordering on cultural appropriation? Then your favourite film is The Big Lebowski. Jeff Bridge’s chilled out Dude is basically your Jesus, you say. “I know, right?” the stoner guy says, his red eyes really coming to life now, “I really think it’s the Coen brother’s masterpiece, even though it had practically no box office success.” “It’s basically a whodunnit, if the detective was a Californian drifter. I always just feel so horizontal after watching it,” you offer back. “Far out,” he nods approvingly, and asks you to go bowling whenever you’re free.

Option 2: The Marxist

Does he have a box fringe? Is he wearing a Fidel Castro t-shirt? Now your favourite film is Michael Moore’s Capitalism: A Love Story. A searing insight into the realities of the US free economy particularly after the 2008 Wall Street crash, this film will give you plenty of talking points on the Obama administration, fracking and the alternatives to capitalist realism. Your comrade is wowed by your commitment to the cause and schedules a coffee date anywhere but Starbucks.

Option 3: The Athlete

Are you distracted by his toned arms in his slightly too small t-shirt? Are you starting to get a pain in your neck from looking upwards because he is actually very tall? Does he have a mullet? You say your favourite film is Icarus. You are extremely passionate about fairness in sport and the doping scandal it exposes makes you boil with rage. “Tell me about it,” he sighs, “It’s unbelievable how wide-spread it is, even at the Olympics, and no one knew anything about it.” “Right,” you agree, “and it’s such a well-crafted documentary and a huge feat of journalism. Bryan Fogel earned the Oscar.” He puts down his Guinness to get your Snapchat.

After an exhausting night of people-pleasing, you wake up hungover and your phone is hopping from these three random guys that don’t look as handsome as you remember on their Instagrams. You order a pizza and settle into the coolest and sexiest film of them all, your true favourite, Bratz (2008).

Image: Unsplash