Aries 

I feel your extra-curricular activities will keep you busy this month, Aries. Sitting in the SU bar does not count towards “research” for your “social experiment” if you’re holding a Snakebite.  

Taurus 

You’ll be “fashionably late” to things this month, Taurus. Turning up at 10:45 to a 10am with a coffee is just demure and mindful – no one needs to see you before caffeine, right? 

Gemini 

Your well-meaning plans to start your summative assignments will crash and burn this month, Gemini. I can’t blame you, though, there’s so much on Netflix right now. 

Cancer 

You’re going to get so much reading done this month, Cancer. It’ll just be after a nap – I mean, balance, right?   

Leo 

You know what’s funny, Leo? You, when you walk into the wrong lecture theatre this week. Just relax, it’s fine – you’re totally a politics student, right? 

Virgo 

The outside will call to you this month, Virgo. I suggest a coffee in the Square. Then like, maybe get on with some work or something, you know? 

Libra 

For you, Libra, a warning this month comes. That essay deadline? Do not underestimate the speed with which it will approach. They hit you when you are least prepared. 

Scorpio 

The OneDrive autosave button race will be one you lose this month, Scorpio. Beware the 10% battery reminder. 

Capricorn 

I’m sensing a troublesome group project this month, Capricorn. How are your conflict management skills? Don’t fear, I predict great success (and passive aggressive group texts) in your future. 

Sagittarius 

I predict your duvet to be stronger than your willpower, Sagittarius. You know you have to pay for those extra SportsPark classes if you don’t attend, right? 

Aquarius 

You will turn to the stars for guidance a lot this month, Aquarius. Particularly when someone asks for your lecture notes, and you haven’t made any. 

Pisces 

I predict a run in with the squirrels this month, Pisces. Keep an eye out. 

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