When I’m struggling with my mental health, I try to stay away from sad music as it makes everything feel ten times worse. However, the artist who is first on my Spotify when times are hard is Lana Del Rey. My dad describes her music as depressing, but she makes me feel relaxed and understood. I first heard her when I was 11 in my aunt’s kitchen, with her album, Born to Die playing. Little did I know that she would become my favourite artist. Ironically enough; I am now estranged from my aunt. Lana’s music has helped be through situations like this, her motto being to “just ride” through life despite the hinderances.  

There’s a beautifully filmed performance of Lana singing ‘Video Games’ crying. When she was asked why she felt so emotional, she said “It’s just heavy performing for people who really care about you, and you don’t really care that much about yourself sometimes.” I have felt like that before. I’m surrounded by people who adore me, but still often doubt myself and it has definitely taken time and emotional maturity to love myself. Knowing that my favourite artist has been on the same journey is a sacred connection. 

Although artists have every right to keep their personal life private, I love artists who have come from difficult upbringings, now freely sharing their art. In Lana’s song ‘Radio’ she sings “no one even knows what life was like, now I’m in LA and it’s paradise.” The reassurance of ‘it gets better’ helps me out of dark times.  

Whenever I want to sit in my sadness, I always play ‘Strangers’ by Ethel Cain. It makes me feel an emotion that feels so unique, I don’t think I can put a name to it. When I first heard it, I was in shock about the storytelling and devastation. It honestly made me feel sick. Cain grew up as transgender in a southern Baptist family, and she puts this isolation into her lyrics and creates something beautiful from the pain. 

Another Lana lyric that comforts me is “sometimes love is not enough, and the road gets tough, I don’t know why,” expressing that unfortunately not everything has an answer. The monologue in the ‘Ride’ music video changed my life, and I know it word for word: “I belonged to no one, who belonged to everyone, who had nothing and wanted everything.” 

I could talk about how much Lana del Rey has saved me forever. She made me realise how important music really is, especially lyrics. She evoked my dream of being a music journalist. The lyric that immediately comes to mind whenever I have a bad day is “don’t worry baby” from ‘Love’. It’s so simple, but it’s everything. 

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