Books are obsessed with romance. Literature would have us believe that love means destiny, drama and at least one near-death experience. But if these iconic couples had to survive modern group chats, shared rent, and the emotional damage of being left on read, who would still be together by graduation?

Let’s start strong with Odysseus and Penelope, who somehow remain one of literature’s healthiest couples despite Odysseus ghosting his wife for twenty years. Penelope doesn’t crumble, spiral or settle; she runs the household, outsmarts dozens of men, and when Odysseus finally shows up, she doesn’t even believe it’s him. She sets a test. Honestly? Therapy-coded. Against all odds, they’d probably survive real life, though Odysseus would absolutely be banned from a lads’ holiday.

Now compare that to Edward and Bella, who fall apart the moment you apply even basic common sense. Edward watches Bella sleep (weird), isolates her from everyone she knows and frames control as romance. Bella responds by giving up her entire life and personality. This isn’t a love story you want to follow; it’s the relationship your flatmates warn you about after freshers’ week.

Some couples feel surprisingly modern. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr Darcy argue, reflect, apologise and improve themselves before getting together. Darcy learns humility. Elizabeth checks her bias. They communicate. They’d absolutely last, though Mr Darcy would be terrible at replying to texts and Elizabeth would absolutely call him out for it in front of everyone.

Then there are couples powered entirely by bad decisions. Romeo and Juliet meet, fall in love, get married, and die in about three days. If they’d lived, they’d break up within a year and repost TikTok’s about each other relentlessly.

It’s a brief, intense situationship that everyone remembers but no one wants to repeat. Gatsby and Daisy are held together by nostalgia, wealth and delusion. Gatsby loves the idea of Daisy; Daisy loves security. They’d look great on Instagram, but the second reality enters the chat (exams, rent and actual emotional needs) the relationship collapses.

And finally, Heathcliff and Catherine, a couple so chaotic they make every other doomed romance look functional. This isn’t passion, its mutual psychological warfare. They’re obsessed with each other, but not in a healthy “you get me” way – it’s more “If I’m miserable, you have to be too.” They manipulate, emotionally abuse, and punish each other for choices neither of them can fully commit to. If they were university students, this would be the relationship that dominates the group chat, derails everyone’s night out, and somehow keeps going even though everyone (including them) knows it’s bad.

The takeaway? The couples who last aren’t dramatic, obsessive, or “epic”.

They’re boring in the best way: communicative, respectful, and emotionally literate.

Turns out the real fantasy isn’t dying for love, its finding someone who won’t ruin your life.

Image Credit: Ella Stone